I want to get super honest with you about the things you DON’T SEE on social media. The frustrations, the fears and the setbacks. I know you have them too, and I want you to know that you are NOT alone.
I wrestled with some huge disappoints this year, and they paralyzed me. Being frustrated with something not going the way we wanted can be a huge freaking brake pedal . . . or it can be a big pump of gas to get us going in a new direction.
It is up to us.
Well, ugh . . . in January, I chose the brake pedal. I sat for months staring at numbers that I expected to skyrocket. They stared silently at me back, snickering, tempting me to quit. And here I am telling you this, realizing how stupid it might be for me to share my (perceived) failures with you, because what if YOU don’t trust me anymore?
Typing this truth brings up so much vulnerability, which feels different from the way I usually show up for you. What if you discovered there were really shitty days where my dreams barely got off the ground?
What if you found out that I wasn’t always rocking it . . . and that sometimes I was actually losing it?
What if you found out I was sometimes fragile and paralyzed in fear?
In January, I got mad. So many things in my life were not going as I’d expected. I was still recovering from a September break-up, my house was approaching 2 years on the market, and my numbers professionally were not where I wanted them to be. Not even close.
I questioned what the hell I am doing here. I wondered if this dream inside of me was just some huge joke by the universe. I was challenged internally with HUGE questions.
Do I give up? What am I really doing here? What if my ex was right?
Truth is, maybe like you, I get scared of failure. Being alone. Being shamed. Never being good enough.
But after I get anxious, pissed and downright frustrated, I know that I have the choice to
A. stay in the smoke of my fears or
B. get reignited and take my power back.
I really see B. as my ONLY CHOICE . . . because I have A CALLING.
No matter how things looked yesterday, there might be a surprise waiting for me tomorrow. My big win could be days away. I decided it was time to regroup, look forward, and do something different. I would turn this from a stopping point to a STARTING POINT.
It was up to me to TRUST my own gut.
And so, I reoriented my focus. I decided to shake off the fear that was keeping me up every night and focus on doing things BETTER. I invested in more training. I hired new people. And I reworked the things that weren’t working.
“When we are ready to stop sitting in the smoke of fear, the fire within can reignite.”
Now, when my fears pop up, I don’t freeze. I pray, take my kids somewhere fun, go for a walk, hug my dog, or listen to a positive video. I shake off the negative energy and connect to what has been in my heart since I was a little girl.
I was meant to be a writer. A spiritual teacher. A healer. And I am not going to let 6 months of smoke blur my vision on what my eternal soul has always known.
I KNOW things are going to work out.
I KNOW I am being divinely led.
I KNOW there are surprises yet to be seen.
The same goes for YOU.
When we get disappointed, we can’t let our perceived failures win. We must look at them in a new way and change our beliefs about them. They can become the catalysts for the ground-breaking shifts that our lives, businesses and relationships have been waiting for.
We must take the gut-driven chance on our dreams to begin again, absorb our newfound wisdom and find a higher place from which to leap.
It is in that choice to leap that the re-ignition of our greatness can explode.
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