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How I Found Gratitude When I Broke Free

i'm Karin
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You have gifts to share with the world and my job is to help you get them out there.

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My understanding of gratitude exploded in 2014. Besides it being the year of my spiritual awakening and the ending of my 2nd marriage . . . it was also the year that my youngest son got his life back.

 

When Hoyte was born in 2010, we had no idea that he would have birth defects. My world went from shaky to shattered in an hour’s time. Let me just frame what was going on in my life:

  • I had 22-month-old twins (who were sick A LOT)
  • I was in an emotionally abusive marriage
  • My husband was in financial crisis . . . and hiding it from me
  • My precious father-in-law was dying from Parkinson’s
  • I was isolated from the world
  • I was in an intensive doctoral program

In comes baby #3, 2 months early, via emergency C-section following a placental abruption. Within an hour, Hoyte was taken to the nearest children’s hospital for surgery.

He was diagnosed with Esophageal Atresia with Trachea-Esophageal Fistula (EA/TEF), and his life hung in the balance. Being in the high-level NICU for five weeks was more than life changing. Learning how to care for, feed and monitor him was beyond the scariest task I had ever faced.

After returning home, Hoyte suddenly came down with Necrotizing Enterocolitis (NEC) and was within hours of losing his life. He was taken off foods at 5 weeks old, with around the clock x-rays. Even though I was nursing, I was forbidden from feeding him as he clawed at my breasts for nourishment. He screamed, I wept, and the world seemed to stop as we waited on every x-ray. It was the most gut-wrenching week of my life.

Hoyte had a miracle – he not only lived but kept his entire colon. Alas, even as we celebrated his life, he was not out of the woods. He had long-term GI issues and stayed high risk for lung infections and choking.

When my husband’s father passed away, he disappeared in his grief. For years, I tried to hold everything together. My life was a roller coaster of motherhood, ER trips and doctor’s visits. I became a medical expert on GI and respiratory issues, and I gave up the rest of my life to maintain theirs.

Over the next 4 years, Hoyte would get many life-threatening infections, have multiple surgeries, admit to the ER 39 times, code blue, and die once at home – leaving his body for 5 minutes.

During those years, I lived on the opposite side of the house from their father, rarely slept more than an hour at a time, and spent hundreds of nights in the hospital. Besides that, we rarely left the house for fear Hoyte would get infected.

In 2014, everything broke. My sister-in-law tragically passed away, and again, life completely shattered. The darkness in our home seemed to turn pitch black. Days later, I brought the kids to the pool to get some fresh air. I took a phone call about the funeral while all 3 were in the hot tub. Looking away for several seconds, I turned to see only 2 kids in the hot tub and a shadow at the bottom of the pool. Hoyte had wiggled out of his floaties and silently stepped into the deep end.

Jumping in with my clothes on, I pulled him out, screaming for help. He was still conscious and breathing, but something was not okay. Rushing him to the hospital, he soon contracted double pneumonia and had the lowest stats since birth. I could not lose my baby now.

Something shifted in me. Something deep inside me decided, if he survived, we were never going back. I had been going through a spiritual awakening in those months and was seeing life in a new way.

I was studying Law of Attraction and realizing the power of our words and belief systems. I decided I was going to change the way I believed and spoke about his health – about all our health.

I felt something powerful arise in me when we finally came home. I knew we could not keep living the way we were living. Something had to change. Immediately. I realized how much I had expected and talked about illness – how much I had repeatedly told him that he was ‘medically fragile.’

I lived in total fear. His body did too.

So, I did something different. I looked my gorgeous 4-year-old in the eyes and said, “Hoyte, this is the end of your sickness. Your BODY is HEALTHY now. We are NEVER going to the ER again.”

I started focusing on positive outcomes. I let go of my victim mindset and shifted my language from fear to strength. I never predicted sickness again, and I regularly told Hoyte that his body was ‘all better.’  I spoke wholeness over all of us and watched the sicknesses get fewer and fewer between.

The miracle? We never admitted to the ER again. That was 4 years ago.

My miracle? I also claimed my own freedom.

I filed for divorce several months later after discovering that my husband had been defrauding me for years.

Needless to say, Hell broke loose before I broke free.

When I speak of gratitude now, I am instantly reminded of the shift that came into my soul in 2014. The year I almost lost everything to discover everything I really needed.

I gained my freedom, my children’s health and my new beginning.

Now, when things get bad, or when I feel challenged, I pause and reflect on the strength I gained because of 2010-2014. The dark nights of my soul.

NOTHING could challenge me more than those years. When I start to get scared or feel sorry for myself, I remember the resilience that I gained in those storms. I remember the miracles.

Now, I am often asked how I keep my energy and joy so high? GRATITUDE. Gratitude for my new life. Gratitude for my children’s health. Gratitude for my awakening.

Gratitude for the laughter, health and happiness that now echo in my home. Gratitude for the possibilities that are still yet to be, and the incredible choice I made to finally break free.


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Turning a Failure into a Leap

i'm Karin
Hi!

You have gifts to share with the world and my job is to help you get them out there.

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I want to get super honest with you about the things you DON’T SEE on social media. The frustrations, the fears and the setbacks. I know you have them too, and I want you to know that you are NOT alone.

 

I wrestled with some huge disappoints this year, and they paralyzed me. Being frustrated with something not going the way we wanted can be a huge freaking brake pedal . . . or it can be a big pump of gas to get us going in a new direction.

It is up to us.

Well, ugh . . . in January, I chose the brake pedal. I sat for months staring at numbers that I expected to skyrocket. They stared silently at me back, snickering, tempting me to quit. And here I am telling you this, realizing how stupid it might be for me to share my (perceived) failures with you, because what if YOU don’t trust me anymore?

Typing this truth brings up so much vulnerability, which feels different from the way I usually show up for you. What if you discovered there were really shitty days where my dreams barely got off the ground?

What if you found out that I wasn’t always rocking it . . . and that sometimes I was actually losing it?

What if you found out I was sometimes fragile and paralyzed in fear?

In January, I got mad. So many things in my life were not going as I’d expected. I was still recovering from a September break-up, my house was approaching 2 years on the market, and my numbers professionally were not where I wanted them to be. Not even close.

I questioned what the hell I am doing here. I wondered if this dream inside of me was just some huge joke by the universe. I was challenged internally with HUGE questions.

Do I give up? What am I really doing here? What if my ex was right?

Truth is, maybe like you, I get scared of failure. Being alone. Being shamed. Never being good enough.

But after I get anxious, pissed and downright frustrated, I know that I have the choice to

A. stay in the smoke of my fears or

B. get reignited and take my power back.

I really see B. as my ONLY CHOICE . . . because I have A CALLING.

No matter how things looked yesterday, there might be a surprise waiting for me tomorrow. My big win could be days away. I decided it was time to regroup, look forward, and do something different. I would turn this from a stopping point to a STARTING POINT.

It was up to me to TRUST my own gut.

And so, I reoriented my focus. I decided to shake off the fear that was keeping me up every night and focus on doing things BETTER. I invested in more training. I hired new people. And I reworked the things that weren’t working.

 

“When we are ready to stop sitting in the smoke of fear, the fire within can reignite.”

 

Now, when my fears pop up, I don’t freeze. I pray, take my kids somewhere fun, go for a walk, hug my dog, or listen to a positive video. I shake off the negative energy and connect to what has been in my heart since I was a little girl.

I was meant to be a writer. A spiritual teacher. A healer. And I am not going to let 6 months of smoke blur my vision on what my eternal soul has always known.

I KNOW things are going to work out.

I KNOW I am being divinely led.

I KNOW there are surprises yet to be seen.

The same goes for YOU.

When we get disappointed, we can’t let our perceived failures win. We must look at them in a new way and change our beliefs about them. They can become the catalysts for the ground-breaking shifts that our lives, businesses and relationships have been waiting for.

We must take the gut-driven chance on our dreams to begin again, absorb our newfound wisdom and find a higher place from which to leap.

It is in that choice to leap that the re-ignition of our greatness can explode.

(Watch me.)


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7 Girlfriends, a Beach House & an Osprey

i'm Karin
Hi!

You have gifts to share with the world and my job is to help you get them out there.

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I am home from a girls’ trip to Sanibel Island, FL where my dear friend, Ally, hosted us in a beautiful, sprawling house on a cove, tucked inside a nature preserve.

There were 7 of us, all carrying different histories, personalities and pursuits. We each had preferences on wake-up times, music, heel height, meat, men and bathing suits. I had not been on a girls’ trip like this in ages where we shared a house with no kids, no agenda and no poolside staff. (We got our own drinks, thank you).

Now that I am home, I realize how much I needed that trip and how fulfilled I truly am. One of the main topics that rose up between our laughter and tears was this collective belief: everything finds its way of working out. In fact, the song, “If It’s Meant to Be, It’ll Be” became the trip’s theme song.

I needed to keep hearing that.

Many times throughout the day, between Yahtzee tournaments and dating conversations, my mind would try to hijack me. I kept feeling stress sneak up inside my body, disturbing my ability to be present. But I was determined to be there. Only there.

I practiced exhaling and letting the negative thoughts go. I would close my eyes, walk out to the inlet point or just turn quietly inward. But worry-thoughts can be pesky creatures. They try to take away moments and make us dread our real lives. I did not want to dread my real life (I love my life!). But when you are staring at the sun setting over the bay with a frozen drink in your hand, you kinda don’t want to go back.

Real life: I have a house that has not sold, a book proposal that is not done, a course that needs to be completed (by yesterday), people to please and a giant checklist of home and kid-related tasks waiting. Like little woodpeckers in my brain, the stressors kept tapping away.

Then . . . magic would happen. These women would bring me back in without even knowing it. We would come together, enfold each other like a group of mama hens – each taking care of the one next to her because she likely was not doing enough of that herself.

We all had all been divorced. Six had children. One wanted to adopt. Three had twins. Six were blonde (but three, not really). One was engaged. Three were not in relationships. Seven loved to dance. All wanted to be heard, and all wanted to listen.

We shared stories about loss, letting go, finding love, losing ourselves and finding ourselves again. One by one, each of us would give her version of how important it is to give what is worrying us up to God and know that everything is going to work out.

We ALL had something hanging in our lives that we were not sure about. But in our shared reassurance, we each felt stronger about the positive forces on our sides. This weekend – it was each other.

As I looked at the lives that surrounded me – some new friends, some old – I felt an overwhelming sense of love and pride for the strong women in my life. The amazing, been-hurt-but-got-up-again-anyway women that reinvented their lives when something, or someone, was taken away. Each of us had stories of surviving pain, betrayal or loss. Each of us found her way back to her own strength.

Moments were simple, complex, light, heavy, hilarious, serious and life-shifting – all within 72 hours. Life does that for you when you open up and share what is really resting in your heart.

We opened up a lot sitting on the deck and floating in the pool, where we were joined by several osprey (a type of hawk – my spirit animal). One, in particular, would come down daily from her nest and perch above us. We were convinced she liked our music, but I believe it was something more.

This mama bird knew we were all mama birds – taking care of our families, animals and each other. She would listen to us for hours, cocking her head intently and making noises on her own. She also wanted to be heard. She was a part of our tribe, our feminine Earth family and our experience that weekend.

She reminded us how we can choose to be present with each other, perched with full awareness, being fully content right where we are. We can – and should – leave our home nests for a time, roost in a new place and open to new experiences that are divinely lined up to change us for the better.

And because of these seven female souls, a beach house and an osprey, I returned home renewed -resting in the unwavering belief that no matter what is bothering me, I have support around me, above me and within me. And, just like that weekend, everything is definitely going to work out exactly the way it should.


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Finding the Real Me in Sedona

i'm Karin
Hi!

You have gifts to share with the world and my job is to help you get them out there.

Read More

Ever travel somewhere that feels like home the moment you breathe the air? Then, because of what is happening in your life, your connection to the land is so powerful . . . you know something in you is going to change because of it? That just happened to me.

I just went to Sedona, AZ for a production shoot with my new branding ace, Nita Blum with Blum’s Brandhouse, and experienced a life-changing shift. I had heard stories of the famous vortexes and had always wanted to go but never had the opportunity. Until now.

I have been gearing up to jump to the next level professionally in 2018. I am lighting up like never before and have so much new material igniting through my soul. This is not quiet stuff – it is ground breaking! I want to be very intentional about my path.

Truth is . . . I want to light a bonfire in the world! My soul has been calling out to me and telling me the time is NOW. I desired change, ignition and inspiration. I wanted a trip that would transform and refine me for what was coming my way.

When I looked for lodging weeks before, I asked my guides to help me find a spot that would support my desires. I set the intention of having time alone to ground, meditate and connect with Source and the work I was doing.

In meditation, I asked for the energy surrounding Nita and me to provide the perfect vibe for what we needed to get done. I asked that the time be expanded to fit in all we needed to do and for it to be fun, fluid and easy. I manifested that my dreams would come true, just like you can, every step of the way!

In meditation, I asked for the energy surrounding Nita and me to provide the perfect vibe for what we needed to get done. I manifested that my dreams would come true, just like you can, every step of the way! Click To Tweet

I arrived late Sunday night after driving up from the Phoenix airport. I could not wait for this beautiful drive, but the closer I got, the darker it got. When I finally headed up the hill to the resort, all I saw was blackness. At night, there are no spotlights illuminating the red rocks, but you are sure there is something powerful hiding there in the dark. You could just feel it.
Getting out of my car, I could immediately sense that the air had an incredible intensity to it – clear, ancestral, deep and powerful – definitely a different vibration than I was used to. The staff at The Enchantment Resort told me how much they loved when people came in late to wake up to the magical scenery in the morning. I could not wait.

When I opened my eyes in the morning, my curtains were closed, but I realized there were three little windows at the top of the wall. Through them, I could see the golden glow of the sunrise illuminating the ribboned edges of the rock formations. Springing to my feet like it was Christmas morning, I ran to the sliding glass balcony doors and held my breath.

Pushing back the curtains, my jaw dropped, and I froze. Holy Mother Earth. What I saw and felt was beyond anything I had expected. Nothing prepared me for the intense beauty of these rocks rising out of the ground as the sun washed her fiery glow across them.

Sliding the glass door open, I stepped out into the crisp air and scanned the view with wild wonder. I felt an immediate reverence in my soul and a powerful force communicating with me. I wanted to be closer. I pulled on my hiking shoes and fleece and shortly found myself journeying up into the red rock formations, breathing in her powerful energy.
I prayed. I meditated. I felt a peace about what was happening and what was on its way. I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be.

Sedona lifted me to a new level of connection with myself, Mother Earth and my purpose at this time in this life. Working with Nita was seamless, and with each moment, things worked out beautifully – just like I had hoped.

When we are in alignment, that is how it happens. We connect with the Divine, our true selves and our purpose ignites with ease and clarity. People, places and inspiration shows up in perfect timing. I felt more authentic, alive and free than I ever had before. And it has kept coming and coming.

I am beyond ecstatic to have this new material coming to you, and I want to thank Sedona, Enchantment and Nita for being the perfect travel mates in this leg of my journey. Nita, specifically, giving me her gift of supporting and igniting the passion inside me like no one has before. The truth is, I was ready for her too, and we met at the perfect time. She helped me to come out of my old shell and show my real self to the world with confidence and strength.

My mission is to help you find the same. I want you to feel this power, intention and freedom to unleash the real you – the you who is here to serve the world. I want to help you find the fire, connection and momentum that I have found!

Just like this trip, I wish for all of us to discover the miracles that are waiting for us so that we can experience a little bit of Sedona in every sunrise. A new glow. A majestic purpose. And an excitement to climb the hills of adventure that are waiting.


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Find Freedom with Me!

i'm Karin
Hi!

You have gifts to share with the world and my job is to help you get them out there.

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Have I told you lately that I love my job? This is because I am creating EXACTLY what I truly want to do. ARE YOU?

I hear so many people complain about how unhappy they are with their home/work situation, and I want to tell you that you CAN create a life that satisfies and inspires you every day! I am going to be offering more courses, tips and videos to help you find your place of bliss!

First of all, STOP talking about the things you are frustrated with – you are only making them grow! Instead, be intentional about spending your words and energy expanding conversations around what you truly want. The more you are speaking positively about your desires and dreaming about how they will feel when they arrive, the more actively you are creating pathways for them and allowing them to show up. I am the perfect example!

What exactly do I do? I wear many hats – AuthorOnline Course Teacher, Internet Show Host, Whole Life CoachColumnist and Transformational Speaker. Oh – and single Mom to three incredible kids and two rescue dogs! Even with that load, I am super purposeful about self-care, doing things the way I TRULY want to do them and only allowing positive people into my circle.

 

The more you are speaking positively about your desires and dreaming about how they will feel when they arrive, the more actively you are creating pathways for them and allowing them to show up. Click To Tweet

I get to write and produce my courses from home, work with select clients remotely and tape my internet show in a place that always makes me feel incredible. I work with my own intuitive life coach to help me stay intentional about my words, energy and relationships. Instead of saying things like, ‘I am so stressed out – how am ever going to get this done?” I say, “This is fluid and easy and is going to work out exactly the way it should!” I take a lot of breaks, walks and meditative moments in between my work hours. I keep negative feelings like dread, anxiety and fear outside of my body and instead choose to dwell on excitement, enjoyment and ease. It is always a choice.

I will be teaching this in my upcoming online course, “Root Down, Fire Up” because I am so passionate about sharing the tools and techniques I have practiced for years to get me to a place of true happiness and freedom. After decades of struggle, frustration and pain, I finally gave myself permission to let my authentic self emerge.

I began honoring my spirit by letting go of trying to please everyone around me while ignoring my own needs. I started asking for exactly what I wanted and letting go of those things or people that do not align with me. I found a way to connect with the Divine and my Inner Being, all which loved me so much more than I ever imagined! I just was not loving myself. But now I do – FIRST.

I want to help you do the same. Don’t you want to be FREE? Stay tuned here, on Facebook, Instagram & Twitter and please leave comments! In December, I will be launching a brand new line of courses, fun experiences and immersion opportunities that are meant to help you bring that same fire, freedom and alignment into your life. Stay connected with me so our souls can soar together!


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The Dilemma with Dismantling My Education

i'm Karin
Hi!

You have gifts to share with the world and my job is to help you get them out there.

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I just spent time in my kitchen talking to a very close friend of mine about our spiritual journeys and the challenges we are both facing. Sometimes I feel anxious on this journey, as my belief system keeps evolving, it is continuously debunking so many things I once believed as fact.

Lately, I have been feeling confused about so much that I learned in graduate school (a Master’s and PhD in Counseling Education & Practice). I mulled over the millions of studies – some that I did myself – the treatment modules, clinical work and diagnostic material I have downloaded over the past 2 decades. I can spit out research and psychology facts all day long, but in the past few years, so much of what I have in my head does not agree with what I now believe.

So much so … that I can’t go back. But that is not always easy nor comfortable. Sometimes, my mind is so blown, I struggle with fear over my identity, my (perceived) reputation and my future. I mean, what the hell is happening?

And what would my professors think about me?

As I continued to talk to my friend, hoping for some clarity, I heard in my spirit, “Karin, you can find this answer yourself, just keep talking and listening.” And so I talked out loud and then listened inward to the first thoughts that came into my head for my answers.

I have learned that my first ‘thoughts’ – before I have a chance to mentally analyze – are usually from my Higher Self and are divine messages.
So on I went. “I am feeling half excited, half petrified. I am getting all of this newfound knowledge about the fluidity of spirituality and consciousness, and then when I try to overlay it with all that I learned about diagnostic criteria and treatment, I usually can’t do it. (Of course, this does not include severe mental illness).

“I have all of this research and education in my head that basically prescribes – even predicts – the mental health of people according to certain treatments, factors and studies. But I can’t follow those rules any more. That is why I am no longer seek licensure – I just don’t align with it.

“But it also scares me because I don’t want to betray my background or the science behind mental health. I feel so conflicted because I think the spiritual component so much bigger than the rest.”Then I heard in my spirit, ‘That is exactly why you are here now. You are supposed to feel this conflict within you because you are going to help change things. The world is no longer aligning with these old paradigms . . .”

“Yes, Karin, that is exactly what you are supposed to be feeling. TRUST YOURSELF. You will help dismantle these old paradigms and belief systems that things have to keep following the old rules. Things are shifting – change is not only… Click To Tweet

Wow.

Continuing, I said, “When people ask me for psychological insight or advice, I find myself not wanting to tell them the research because I know how powerful those words heart. My heart says, ‘Don’t tell them. Don’t put that in their vibration because they are going to identify with the labels and think they need long-term fixing. They are not broken. No one needs to suffer like this any longer – and you know this.”

I went on, “Now I believe we have more mind-body-spirit power than we ever knew before – immediate power over our own well-being without the need to go back and keep muddling through old pain.

“We can leave it behind without unearthing all our moldy narratives for years in a therapist’s office. We don’t have to keep them alive – they can be given to the Light and released. Suffering is just no longer necessary.

“I now believe you don’t have to go by the diagnostic manual (of course, I am not talking about serious mental illness).

You can make a choice in ANY MOMENT to create change in your life, and it doesn’t matter one bit what the research says. YOU can change RIGHT NOW if you are truly ready to RELEASE what is old, ACCEPT your own sacred power and ALLOW things to flow.
Sigh . . . (insert fear) . . .“But I am scared because I feel like I am basically dismantling what I was taught.”
And in that moment, my guides pushed fear to the side and spoke to my spirit,

“Yes, Karin, that is exactly what you are supposed to be feeling. TRUST YOURSELF. You will help dismantle these old paradigms and belief systems that things have to keep following the old rules. Things are shifting – change is not only possible, it is necessary. And it is already happening with the new consciousness that is rising out of the old.”

As I waited, I could feel the peace and knowledge come to me that this is part of my calling – a dismantling and rebuilding of the way we handle our stories, our pain and our archaic beliefs. We have the empowering choice to let go of our old roles as trapped victims, and take hold of a new role as powerful creators. To become the spiritual badasses we were meant to be.

If we collectively set the intention for change, expand support for the positive shift and lean into the release and restoration of our own souls, we will create waves of change like the world has never seen.

It was in that moment that I realized that I really was not confused, I was changing. The world is changing. From here forward, utilizing the fierce divinity around and within us, we are creating a new consciousness that is going to blow the old stories away.


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