The Dilemma with Dismantling My Education
I just spent time in my kitchen talking to a very close friend of mine about our spiritual journeys and the challenges we are both facing. Sometimes I feel anxious on this journey, as my belief system keeps evolving, it is continuously debunking so many things I once believed as fact.
Lately, I have been feeling confused about so much that I learned in graduate school (a Master’s and PhD in Counseling Education & Practice). I mulled over the millions of studies – some that I did myself – the treatment modules, clinical work and diagnostic material I have downloaded over the past 2 decades. I can spit out research and psychology facts all day long, but in the past few years, so much of what I have in my head does not agree with what I now believe.
So much so … that I can’t go back. But that is not always easy nor comfortable. Sometimes, my mind is so blown, I struggle with fear over my identity, my (perceived) reputation and my future. I mean, what the hell is happening?
And what would my professors think about me?
As I continued to talk to my friend, hoping for some clarity, I heard in my spirit, “Karin, you can find this answer yourself, just keep talking and listening.” And so I talked out loud and then listened inward to the first thoughts that came into my head for my answers.
I have learned that my first ‘thoughts’ – before I have a chance to mentally analyze – are usually from my Higher Self and are divine messages.
So on I went. “I am feeling half excited, half petrified. I am getting all of this newfound knowledge about the fluidity of spirituality and consciousness, and then when I try to overlay it with all that I learned about diagnostic criteria and treatment, I usually can’t do it. (Of course, this does not include severe mental illness).
“I have all of this research and education in my head that basically prescribes – even predicts – the mental health of people according to certain treatments, factors and studies. But I can’t follow those rules any more. That is why I am no longer seek licensure – I just don’t align with it.
“But it also scares me because I don’t want to betray my background or the science behind mental health. I feel so conflicted because I think the spiritual component so much bigger than the rest.”
Then I heard in my spirit, ‘That is exactly why you are here now. You are supposed to feel this conflict within you because you are going to help change things. The world is no longer aligning with these old paradigms . . .”
Continuing, I said, “When people ask me for psychological insight or advice, I find myself not wanting to tell them the research because I know how powerful those words heart. My heart says, ‘Don’t tell them. Don’t put that in their vibration because they are going to identify with the labels and think they need long-term fixing. They are not broken. No one needs to suffer like this any longer – and you know this.”
I went on, “Now I believe we have more mind-body-spirit power than we ever knew before – immediate power over our own well-being without the need to go back and keep muddling through old pain.
“We can leave it behind without unearthing all our moldy narratives for years in a therapist’s office. We don’t have to keep them alive – they can be given to the Light and released. Suffering is just no longer necessary.
“I now believe you don’t have to go by the diagnostic manual (of course, I am not talking about serious mental illness).
You can make a choice in ANY MOMENT to create change in your life, and it doesn’t matter one bit what the research says. YOU can change RIGHT NOW if you are truly ready to RELEASE what is old, ACCEPT your own sacred power and ALLOW things to flow.
Sigh . . . (insert fear) . . .“But I am scared because I feel like I am basically dismantling what I was taught.”
And in that moment, my guides pushed fear to the side and spoke to my spirit,
“Yes, Karin, that is exactly what you are supposed to be feeling. TRUST YOURSELF. You will help dismantle these old paradigms and belief systems that things have to keep following the old rules. Things are shifting – change is not only possible, it is necessary. And it is already happening with the new consciousness that is rising out of the old.”
As I waited, I could feel the peace and knowledge come to me that this is part of my calling – a dismantling and rebuilding of the way we handle our stories, our pain and our archaic beliefs. We have the empowering choice to let go of our old roles as trapped victims, and take hold of a new role as powerful creators. To become the spiritual badasses we were meant to be.
If we collectively set the intention for change, expand support for the positive shift and lean into the release and restoration of our own souls, we will create waves of change like the world has never seen.
It was in that moment that I realized that I really was not confused, I was changing. The world is changing. From here forward, utilizing the fierce divinity around and within us, we are creating a new consciousness that is going to blow the old stories away.